http://www.blanchmax.com/new-blog daily 0.75 2016-03-18 http://www.blanchmax.com/new-blog/2016/3/17/part-4 monthly 0.5 2016-03-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458269519989-EJOQS88PHL9RIFYYS3KO/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458269724451-0HVCDF1HJHQZU8LKQUS4/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies Given the fact that the entire film is a reasonably accurate Shakespeare riff, a lot of the jokes that I didn't understand at the time basically boil down to, "I have genitals. You also have genitals. Wouldn't it be funny if our genitals either touched or where injured in some way?" https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458270259915-GWSIH4THRZINFSI3XYIT/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies What an incredible scream Janet Leigh has. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458270025682-C1IOGU4RHSNIQJ6NYTKW/psycho.jpg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies In just the creepiest goddamn scene, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458270692694-HBREEEFJBC93T138OQE6/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies Just look at that face. So hang-dog cool. He can wear a rumpled suit like nobody else. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458271428283-H6F5N1P2DF2BXW4VQ7OX/Poster_-_Mexican_Spitfire.jpg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies People complain about modern-day movie posters being boring, but old posters are exactly as inane and terrible. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458271071254-D55N01GT1F3M2J7BU9SS/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies This is the level of ham we're dealing with. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1458271705713-D1FMTQ4Z4PQFLTKMWR0G/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 4: "Classic" Movies Seriously, though, Singin' in the Rain is the most infectiously exuberant movie ever made. There is no way anybody could possibly not enjoy it. http://www.blanchmax.com/new-blog/2016/3/11/part-3 monthly 0.5 2016-03-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457682106112-HP49YKAKCQH72AXWKLTV/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457682195862-IZGBWJOEZ4CDCYYUSMVI/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons Yeah, Cheez TV sure was terrible. Not like this cool dude. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457682458890-AYPX2K6NE9CPOIZSRNW3/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons Some of those weird game shows were pretty... A*mazing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457682630124-HI6WDSMWU7BRS6C5KMEZ/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons If this doesn't sum up the late nineties better than any other single image possibly could, I do not want to see that image. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457683102492-4EJYZ5PKJRVJLPMD8NUN/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons I could have been getting this in the mail for free! Every month! Rather than paying, like, $3 for it! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457683278123-7SG2HDCT6VMDW93DQ507/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons Some of them were unwatchably bad, though. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457683488269-OJ6AZQYUZSRUWEAE9WZU/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons Bunch of stupid jerks, taking my Goofy away from me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457683603420-X12F4YLORJ7J09R1OQ86/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons My mortal enemy. Until I turned 14, then it was the best. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457683840023-JABXX4049CPCLM5972KC/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - Part 3: Saturday Morning Cartoons As far as I am aware, she is still not too old for mermaids. http://www.blanchmax.com/new-blog/2016/2/25/part-2-my-first-director monthly 0.5 2016-02-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456451610862-ZMAA6L36SLIDNUSSDK8T/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456451952122-C163D0ILQ5ICK2HDAL9L/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director "Seriously. It's no masterpiece but it's a lot of fun." "You should check it out." "I've gone on too long like this already." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456452133981-O87SB2RKAA3ILVHVBB2B/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director Yep. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456452233090-H3NUJCWSXLCWC4GV4JUU/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director PICTURED: An overly stylized cartoon with facial expressions imperfectly rendered and exaggerated to the point of total, grating unbelievability. PICTURED RIGHT: Bugs Bunny. Who wore it better? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456453366637-4D05HGW7H0B0020X5D04/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director Why yes, Larry King did say, "Terrific!" What, about Jersey Girl? No, of course not, he's not an idiot. But he has said it, presumably. He is a person. He's said lots of things. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456453710419-ZWF80ZYV1E0VZOXUPXU3/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director Ha ha ha, remember when these were considered prestigious? No? It's just me? Oh, okay then. I'll... I'll just be over here... in the corner... Nah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. I'm not... I'm fine. Seriously. Just... just... eh, you know. It's... it's just... https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456454125685-1MM97XS4R7DCHPPVNP9E/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director Remember? Remember when we were all saying that, about Elizabeth Banks? Before we all started saying it about Anna Farris? Right before Bridesmaids came along, and everybody realised women could actually headline comedies that were, you know, good? But by that time Elizabeth Banks and Anna Farris were both stuck in this girlfriend-wife-love interest rut that they will never escape from, just because they both came along about four years too early? Remember that? Ah. Good times. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456454971047-HKK3Y3H6CSEZ9Y83IVJC/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director To be fair to myself, not ALL of these update on a weekly schedule. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1456455356592-U6PT3YBI8U9SP8XUGHAQ/image-asset.png That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 2: My First Director Go ahead. You know you want to. http://www.blanchmax.com/new-blog/2016/2/19/part-1-non-superhero-comics monthly 0.5 2016-02-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455859824081-YJ96V0DGLMAXRDHMK86C/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455860714331-F66309ZBDKG2BEJYFHYE/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics What... What's he going to do with that skull? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455861074319-8E5649JBBY1OX4YMRTZM/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics This is a real, actual comic that was released by the Disney company in which N'Sync gets sucked into a computer. Who the hell needed stupid nineties superhero comics when I had this? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455859334336-3WSMFCJAJDU8YSKXO08W/What+the+hell+is+this%2C+even%3F+How+does+it+exist%3F That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics PICTURED: Gnasher. Presumably some sort of non-euclidean demon squiggle baby. Should not exist. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455861280407-IH6LNJ1643L2P4K6BH0D/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics Not pictured: my tears. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455861661937-OU2ZC3UHD2V4E3AH83EH/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics Why... why would they do this? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455863118067-Q9ELE7XMCI3ERVDAQKCT/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455862224385-3SCNIBTOGRGNMUMGDIJX/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics Owning 2016 comics like a goddamn champion. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455862083541-VPAQ2ZPG6KPU6TRSS693/image-asset.jpeg That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics Very Serious Mainstream Comics. Obviously more important than a bunch of gross girls feelings books. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455862435747-NTKWBSRS3YA2CEMERGSE/It%27s+A+Very+Batman+Christmas That Stuff Shaped Me - PART 1: Non-Superhero Comics Batman can be in some of them, though. http://www.blanchmax.com/welcome daily 0.75 2016-02-26 http://www.blanchmax.com/articles daily 0.75 2016-02-19 http://www.blanchmax.com/reviews daily 0.75 2016-03-04 http://www.blanchmax.com/new-page daily 0.75 2016-02-26 http://www.blanchmax.com/part-1-nonsuperhero-comics-1 daily 0.75 2016-02-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1455858711244-SKBF0M3YZ3JB40Q2F7ET/What+is+this+monster%3F+Why+is+it+allowed+to+exist%3F Part 1: Non-Superhero Comics PICTURED: Gnasher. Presumably some sort of non-euclidean demon squiggle baby. Should not exist. http://www.blanchmax.com/home-1 daily 1.0 2016-02-19 http://www.blanchmax.com/sad-gorgon-man daily 0.75 2016-02-26 http://www.blanchmax.com/review-the-peanuts-movie daily 0.75 2016-03-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457055344132-5KM5CW34G67IF875N17X/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457055630876-AJRHSNHX2TQ6M06NPONH/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie These McDonald's toys from 1966 are the epitome of crass commercialism, and also the epitome of creepy old toys that you turn towards the wall when you go to sleep, just in case. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457056051078-LHW6OMIKLJVVKQJPRC4C/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie A real thing that exists. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457058166446-Q54RJ29P0NBIK0KLL0DD/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie A relationship I am inexplicably meant to be deeply invested in, rather than faintly grossed out by. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457057152526-Y52ITO6ZQKJSE0S6MWN5/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie Which of these two Charlie Brown posters is really the Charlie Browniest? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/507ca0a2e4b0cbc747568da8/1457057397893-DLIWPV6CNXDO68CGBJS3/image-asset.jpeg Review: The Peanuts Movie The animated version of Snoopy: derailing cartoons for interminable five minute stretches since at least the early seventies.